Step One

It took months to get to this place. I couldn’t have done it without you. 

I know I hurt you. You have every right to feel how you do.

I know my failure to fully think through the consequences of my actions is what led us to this place. I was inconsiderate. I was too focused on myself to see how my behavior affected you. I was selfish. I broke promises.

I’ll never be able to take that back. I’m sorry for hurting you. You didn’t deserve that.

I did my best, and we can both see that my best was severely lacking. I’ll have to live with that.

I know you did your best too.

I want to thank you. It’s because of you that I was able to learn more about who I am. It’s because of you that I am beginning to envision who I want to be. You’ve gifted me an awareness–a lucidity–that I would likely not have discovered on my own. It’s because of you that I’m finding the courage to take the next steps in my journey. This isn’t the first time you’ve given me courage. I doubt it’ll be the last.

I had to lose myself to find myself. It wasn’t an easy process and I thank you for being there for the time that you could. I’ll be ok now, and I have you to thank for that.

You taught me about the parts of me I could not see. You took a chance on me, and it sure as hell hasn’t been easy. I’ll forever treasure your memory. You were exactly who I needed to meet.

You taught me how to see people. You taught me how to have compassion, even for those I didn’t think deserved it.

You taught me how to love. You taught me how to forgive.

I am forever changed because you were a part of my life.

I know I can never repay you for this. So I’ll do what I’ve always asked those indebted to me to do.

I’ll pay it forward.

And I’ll take what comes.

Thank you.

I’ll always love you.

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